


Life Changes.

by ak47stylegirl



Series: Life changes Au [1]
Category: Thunderbirds
Genre: Emotional Trauma, Gen, Gunshot Wounds, Hospitalization, Protective Older Brothers, Serious Injuries, serious injured character, worried family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2020-11-26 15:08:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 18,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20932235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ak47stylegirl/pseuds/ak47stylegirl
Summary: Life can change forever in an instant.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gumnut](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gumnut/gifts).

**Virgil POV.**

_ He took a sip of his champagne, watching as people in fancy dresses and suits danced slowly. He really didn’t want to be here, business galas were not his thing but he had pulled the short straw, so here he was…at a boring business gala…with an even more bored little brother who had also pulled the short straw. _

“This is soooo booooring…”Alan groans, his arms crossed against his chest.

He rolled his eyes _ , not that he doesn’t agree with Alan, he could see how Alan…how a teenager would find this business gala which is mostly older adults, boring. But Alan whining was also getting a bit annoying too… _

“Then find something to do..” he said, taking a sip of his champagne.  _ He wasn’t a big champagne or alcohol person but he was grateful for this drink, he needed it. _ “Didn’t you bring your game with you?”

_ Alan had been hooked on this new game that he had found, he been playing it non stop for the past week.  _

“It died.” Alan pouted, looking down at the floor. “I didn’t even get to save it either..”

He sighed, starting to feel sorry for alan.  _ The kid was starting to look really tired and he was reminded beforehand that Alan had been on a mission, the poor kid was exhausted and this party wasn’t helping. _

_ And honestly? This was no place for a kid. A lot of the food was designed for adults, which meant it either had alcohol in it (which Alan was not, I repeat not allowed to eat or drink!) or it was some kind of fancy food that Alan really didn’t like, so really this place was no place for a kid. _

_ he sort of understood why Scott wants Alan to come to these events, he needs to learn how to act in the public eye, not just as international rescue but as a representative of the family name and company. _

_ But honestly the kid looked exhausted, it was about ten at night now. Way passed Alan’s normal bedtime and yes the kid has a bedtime, not that he always follow it but he still has one. _

_ Maybe they should leave, it was getting late. He wouldn’t mind getting some sleep himself.  _ “Okay, grab your things, we’re leaving..”

Alan’s eyes brighten up, “really?! We can leave?! YES!” Alan fist bumps the air with a grin, bouncing on his feet. Alan’s stomach growled, making Alan blush slightly. “Could we maybe get food on the way home too? I’m starving!” 

He chuckled, “okay, sure, I don't mind getting some food”  _ he wasn’t too fond of the food here either..  _

“Yes! You’re the best!” Alan grinned, jumping in the air before running off to get his things. 

He shook his head with a chuckle as he watches Alan nearly ran into someone..  _ That kid needs to slow down, always running at full speed..  _

**Bang!**

His eyes widen as he hears a gun go off, the sound echoing in the vast ballroom. It was then followed by a scream and suddenly everybody started running for their lives, shoving and pushing people out of their way, all trying to reach the exit. 

_It was a madhouse and he couldn’t see alan anywhere! He had no idea what was going on and _**_he couldn’t find alan!_** He thought as he frantically looked for Alan in the panicking crowd. **_Where was he?! _**

Another gunshot went off, this time an angry yell followed it… “Quiet down!” A man holding a gun yelled, before a couple of other gunmen came into the room, blocking the exits. “Stop moving!”

“What do you want?!” One of the guests yelled, shaking from fear but trying to put on a brave face. “I promise you, you won’t get away with this-“

“Shut up!” The man yelled, pointing the gun at that person. “Shut your little fat mouth!”

While the man was distracted, he activated his emergency signal. _ Hopefully, help will come soon before anything really bad happens. Oh scott was going to have a field day..  _

“Now! This is what is going to happen!” The man yelled again, “you are to hand over your money or things are going to get nasty!” The man then walked up to a young woman and said, “isn’t that right sweetheart?” while stroking her cheek, a hungry look in his eye. 

The girl was terrified.. Shaking from head to toe. He clenched his fists, h _ e wanted to do something but he knew bring attention to himself was a bad idea- _

“Hey! Leave her alone!”

He felt his blood run cold as he realised who yelled.. _ oh no…oh no-no-no-no!  _ ** _please no! _ **

Alan was glaring at the man, his fist clenched.  _ Alan! Why do you have to be some much like scott!?  _ He screaming in his head, his eyes wide with pure terror now. 

The man turned around with a growl, “Who do you think you are?” The man took a step towards his brother and he felt his brotherly instincts flame up,  ** _that man was too close to his brother!_ ** “Some kind of hero, huh?!” 

The man spat in Alan’s face, standing way too close to him. 

“Hey! Get away from my brother!” He yelled, his deep voice echoing in the room. “We’ll do what you want, just step away from my brother!”

Alan looked at him, his eyes wide.  _ He could see the fear that Alan was trying so hard to hide in Alan’s eyes, the terror of having someone with a gun so close to you… _

_ he needs to get Alan out of here, he needs to calm this situation down.. _

The man looked at him, his eyes widening “you’re one of those international rescue guys..”

“Yes..i am” he nodded, his hands held out in front of him. 

_ He had an idea, maybe he could use international rescue’s reputation to calm this situation down. Because everybody knows that international rescue was trustworthy, right?  _

“Now please, we don’t want anybody getting hurt, we’ll do what you want but please step away from my brother” he said, keeping his voice neutral, trying to calm this mess down. 

His comm buzzed...

The man’s eyes narrow, “your brother? This is your brother?” the man looked at alan, a thoughtful look on his face.  _ He didn’t like that one bit.. _

“Yes, now please-” 

The man cut him off, “you do not give me orders!” He pointed the gun at Alan, aiming the gun at Alan’s abdomen. Alan’s eyes widen even more. “international rescue couldn’t save my sister from being paralysed, so now I’ll return the favour!”

He watched in what seemed like slow motion as the gun went off, the bullet going straight into Alan’s stomach.

Someone screamed in horror,  _ he didn’t know if it was him or someone else...maybe both.. _

“Alan!” He ran as fast as he could, dropping down to the floor where Alan had fallen, a puddle of blood starting to form around him. 

His comm buzzed again… 

Alan was gasping in pain, tears running down his cheeks at speed. Alan had his hand over his stomach, his hand was trembling…Alan’s whole body was trembling.

“Oh, Allie, shh..shhh” he stroked Alan’s hair back, moving Alan’s hand to see the wound. He gasped at what he saw…

The bullet had lodged itself into Alan’s  _ spine… _

**shit! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, I hope you enjoy this! and feel free to comment, I love hearing what you guys think :)

**Virgil’s POV. **

_Oh no, oh, no! This can’t be happening?! _He thought with wide eyes as he took in the wound, that bullet had **_definitely_** hit Alan’s spinal cord._ Oh shit, this was **bad…**_

“ViRgie!” Alan cried out, tears spilling down his cheeks. Alan was terrified, completely terrified..“i-it hu-hur-“ 

“I know, shhh, I know..” he gently brushed back Alan’s fringe, trying to hold his panic in, trying not to let Alan see how damn scared he was, “but I need you to stay calm for me, okay Allie?” 

Alan gasped in pain, his breathing fast and rapid, “I..I-“

Alan was cut off, the man that had shot him laughing loudly. “Oh, this is too good!” The man grinned, and he felt his blood boil, _how **Dare** that man…_ “see people! This is what happens if you don’t do what we want!”

The other guests were just staring in horror, “now come on, give us your money, and no one else needs to get hurt!” The man yelled. 

_It took every ounce of self-control he had not to lash out at that man but instead, he turned his attention away from that man and on to Alan, who really needed him right now, more than ever._

“Vir-Virgie..” Alan gasped, his voice getting weak, “it..it really..hur-“

“Shhh, I know, I know..” he said, his voice wet and shaky. _He knew it hurt, he knew it hurt like hell, and he knew what he was going to do next was going to make it hurt a lot more._

_But he needs to stop the bleeding,_ he thought as he pulled his suit jacket off and put it over the wound and pushed down, trying to stop the blood from escaping.

Alan screamed, starting to slash about uncontrollably, trying to get him to stop. _But he couldn’t, he hated it, but he couldn’t let up on the pressure! He was not going to let his little brother bleed out! _

“Shh-shh, Allie! Stay still!” He pinned Alan’s shoulders to the ground, using one hand to put pressure on the wound and the other to keep Alan still. _This wasn’t going to work for long, Alan needs a hospital. He had already lost too much blood…_

“Oh honestly, can you keep the kid quiet!?” The man that had shot Alan asked, “we’re trying to steal money over here.”

Something in him snapped, _like a wire snapping when it has been **stretched too far.**_ He lifted his head slowly, looking up at that bastard with a look that could kill. 

_If it wasn’t for the fact that if he moved, Alan would start bleeding out again, that man would be a **black and blue** spark on the floor, nothing left for the GDF to lock away…_

“You won’t get away with this” he growled, his fury evident in his voice, “my people are coming right now, and I promise, they are a lot less nice then I am..”

_Scott would probably strangle the guy or punch him until he was in a **body cast** if given the change, Kayo would probably do the same._

_John would hack that man’s finances down the drain, and while he was at it, he would find the most embarrassing thing that guy ever tried to hide and post it all over the web for the whole world to see…_

_Gordon would…Gordon would honestly would set **hell** on the guy…_

The man scoffed, trying not to look bothered but he obviously was “sorry to disappoint, but I already have..” the man gestured to his men, “get them out of my sight.”

His eyes widen as someone grabbed him from behind and forcefully pulled him to his feet…away from Alan, whose wound was starting to bleeding rapidly again now that there was no one putting pressure on it.

“No! Let me go!” He yelled, struggling in the other man’s hold. He needs to get to Alan! “Alan!”

Alan’s eyes had widened in even more terror now, “VIRGIL!” Alan cried out, reaching for him, only to scream in pain. 

“Alan!” He screamed, struggling as the man holding him dragged him towards an exit. “Let me go! Alan!-“

He gasped as another man walked up to Alan and not so carefully grabbed both of Alan’s arms, making Alan cry and scream in the process and start dragging Alan by his arms across the floor.

“What are you doing?!” He yelled in horror, watching as his brother screamed and struggled, crying like he never heard before, “don’t move him! You’ll injure him more! Stop-“

He was shoved through a doorway, losing sight of Alan. The guy holding him let go of him, pushing him forward, making him stumble and lose his balance, falling to the ground. 

He quickly lifted himself to his feet, looking around. It was dark in here, but he could make out that He was in a smaller room than the big ballroom that he was dragged out of.

_**Alan!** He needs to get to Alan! _He thought spinning around, only to find a gun pointed at him.

“Don’t move..” 

The door to the room open again, stepping through it was the man that had grab Alan by the arms, dragging Alan behind him. _Who had lost consciousness,_ he realised with horror.

“Alan!” He moved towards Alan, but he was stopped by a gun bringing pointed at him again. 

“I said, don’t move!” The man snapped, “or do you want a bullet in yourself too?”

“That wasn’t very nice..” a voice in the shadows sneered and suddenly the guy holding the gun was knocked unconscious, not even having time to turn around.

His eyes widen as he realised who was here, “Kayo!” He grinned, relief flooding over him.

_If Kayo was here, the others weren’t far away. Scott was probably almost here already-oh shit! How was he going to face Scott after this?!_

He shook his head, forgetting that thought for now and ran up to Alan’s side as Kayo took out the other guy. 

He put his hand to Alan’s neck feeling for a pulse, _finding one, but it was_**_ weak…_**

Kayo ran up to him, taking one look at Alan’s wound and swore. “What happened?!” 

“Gunshot wound to the abdomen, Bullet hit his _spine_, I don’t know how bad but he lost a lot of blood, and he got a weak pulse..” he listed, taking a shaky breath and started putting pressure on the wound again, his hands getting covered in Alan’s _blood_. “He needs a _**hospital now!**_”

Kayo nodded, tapping her comm. “John, how far out is Scott and the GDF! We need_ immediate_ assistance! Alan is critically inj-“

“I heard kayo,” John said, his voice deadly serious. “The GDF are moving in as we speak and Scott is-“

“I’m almost there!” Scott cuts in, “Virgil, Kayo! Keep him stable until I get there, okay?!”

He nodded, “FAB..” he said softly,_ not being able to bring himself to say more. He felt too ashamed, he should have protected Alan better. _

“We’ll do what we can, Scott…” Kayo sighed, kneeling down next to him. “just hurry, Alan does not look good.”

_that was an understatement…_

_Scott nodded, “FAB..” _

_hold on Allie, just hold on, _ ** _please…_ **


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I got this chapter done sooner then I thought I would… that’s pretty cool! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this! :)   
And P.s I’m honestly enjoying writing from Virgil’s pov so much! He’s so fun to play with! 😆

**Virgil POV.**

Alan was getting paler by the second, his breathing not much better. It was shallow and weak, _barely_ even there. 

“How’s his pulse?” He asked Kayo, who was kneeling by Alan’s head. 

“Weak..” Kayo answered frowning. “And getting weaker..”

His chest contracted painfully, worry and fear flooding his senses._ This was bad…where was **Scott** and the GDF?! Alan needed that **hospital right now! **_

Kayo must have seen his panicked look because she reached out and touched his shoulder, “we’re going to get Alan out of here, okay?”

He nodded, not looking her in the eyes. _He couldn’t because…because he wasn’t sure if he believed her…Alan had lost** so much** blood, he really wasn’t sure at this point._

Kayo frowned before tapping her comm again, “John, please tell me that the GDF ar-“

His head snaps to the door as multiple gunshots go off, followed by shouts and screams. _What was going on out there?!_

Kayo stood up, her eyes narrowing as she focused on the door. “John, please tell me that was the GDF?” Kayo whispered, inching closer to the door. 

Before John could answer, the door flew open. He tensed up, his heart freezing in his chest, expecting the worst.

“This is the GDF! Hands in the Air!” A GDF soldier yelled, pointing a gun at them. 

He slumps forward in relief. _It was only the GDF… thank goodness,_ he thought taking a deep breath, _he didn’t want to think about what** could** have happened if it **wasn’t.**.._

Kayo dropped her arms to her side, visibly relieved at the fact that it was the GDF, not one of those criminals. _The soldier was lucky he didn’t get his lights punched out… _

The GDF soldier took in the scene before him, his eyes widening as he lay eyes on Alan. He lowered his gun and brought his hand to his ear. “Colonel, I found the Tracys!”

Scott arrived a couple of minutes later, hover stretcher and medkit with him. Scott’s eyes widened the second he laid eyes on Alan, sucking in a horrified breath. 

“Scott..” he choked, unable to bring himself to say more…_ he should have protected Alan **better…**_

Scott snapped out of his shock, jumping back in to rescue mode. “Virgil, are you injured?” Scott asked as he kneeled down next to Alan, his hand searching for a pulse.

He shook his head, “no, I’m fine..” _which was true but at the same…it was a** lie, **he wasn’t fine…_

Scott nodded, “good..” Scott swore quietly as he found Alan’s pulse. “That is _weak_!” 

Scott opened the medkit, grabbing out the stuff needed for an emergency dressing and-“Virgil, I need you to remove your hands!”

His eyes widened, pulling his hands away like he been _**electrocuted**. He hadn’t realised that he had zoned out…_

Kayo looked at him in concern, squeezing his arm in comfort as Scott gently cut away Alan’s shirt and had a proper look at the wound.

Scott swore loudly this time, before starting work on that emergency dressing, “this will have to do for now, I can’t remove the bullet here..” Scott said as he finished applying the dressing. “it would be too dangerous.” 

_The blood was already starting to soak through the gauze_, he thought as his suppressed panic came rearing up again, _this was bad..this was really **bad.**_

Scott lowered the hover stretcher down to the floor, laying it directly next to Alan. “Okay, I need you two to lift Alan up as I slid the stretcher under him, okay?” Scott asked, looking at them.

Kayo nodded, getting ready to lift Alan. “FAB Scott..”

Scott looked at him when he didn’t answer, frowning in concern, “Virgil, you’re _good_?” 

_No, he wasn’t, he really **wasn’t**…. he was going into shock, that was obvious to him. Everything was starting to catch up to him, _the tightness in his chest tightening. _But Alan **needed him, **and he couldn’t afford to have a panic attack now…_

He took a shaky deep breath and nodded, getting ready to lift Alan. “I’m..I’m good..” 

“Good Man,” Scott said softly, “okay, on the count of three, you lift him, okay?”

They nodded, getting ready to lift.

“Okay, one, two, three!” They slipped their arms under Alan and lifted him, while Scott slid the stretcher under him. “Okay, lower him gently now…” They lowered Alan slowly, sliding their arms out from beneath Alan. 

Alan looked so _small _on that stretcher, which was made for a full-grown_ adult. _Alan barely took up half of it…_And that was because he wasn’t an **adult,** he was **just a kid…**_

He watches as Scott grabbed a rigid neck brace and gently put it on Alan before standing up, the stretcher rising with him. 

Scott tapped his comm, “John, I need _immediate_ permission to land at the nearest hospital right now! tell them I got a possible SCI in a _critical_ state!” Scott ordered as he ran out of the room, guiding the stretcher alongside him.

He watched as Alan and Scott disappeared from sight, and a thought hit him, _what if that was the last time he saw Alan** alive?**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay… I did this instead of working on my school work…which I really should have been working on but…this story was pointing a gun to my head, I had to write this! 😅

**Virgil POV.**

Hospital’s waiting rooms, he didn’t know what it was about them that made time seem so_ slow…_The endless wait as your loved one is hanging between life and death, and you can do _**nothing**_ about it! _Except wait…and wait and wait…_

And wait as every second is getting more and more _painful._ Every single second you are wondering _‘is this the moment that a doctor comes in and tells you that a part of your would have **died?’ **_

Every damm second of this wait was _suffocating!_ He felt like he was drowning, sinking lower and lower into the abyss with _no way out…_

He wanted to run from this room, get as far away from this place as he could, Scream and shout and just _not be okay! _Because he wasn’t! He was not okay! 

_ **He was not okay!** _

He had failed his_ little brother! _He…he failed his _whole_ family! He wants to run and not look back but….but he _couldn’t…_

Because..because he needs to know…He needs to know if Alan was….if Alan made it or not… 

Oh gosh, what if he _didn’t?_ What if when the doctor comes in, he or she tells them that Alan is **_dea- _**

He took a shaky deep breath, cutting that thought off, instead choosing to look at the other people in the private waiting room that they were in.

Scott was pacing back and forth, stopping every so often to look at the door before going back to his nervous pacing. Scott was still in his uniform, not _bothering_ to change out of it…

John was standing off to the side of the room, having come down from five a little bit after Alan had been admitted to surgery. Alan had been in surgery for the _**past four hours,**_ in that time the whole family had arrived, each and every one of them wanting to know what the faith of their youngest member will be…

It was also now two o’clock the next morning. Meaning he has been awake for a long time now, probably _almost over **twenty-four hours**,_ give or take an hour…

John was standing as stiff as a board, eyes trained on the door. John had barely moved since he got here, the only time he did move was to talk to EOS. From what he overheard, John was making sure that those criminals were going to get life in prison for this, _**no bail, no nothing!**_

A part of him…a _dark and dangerous _part thought that was too nice for them…not after what they have done to his brother…

Gordon was sitting next to him, he was pale with worry, his knee bouncing up and down in anxiety. He couldn’t help but notice that Gordon was also subconsciously leaning closer to him, trying to seek_ comfort_. 

But he really wasn’t in a state to give comfort right now, he was barely holding it together himself… he felt _**guilty**_ that he couldn’t help Gordon but…_he couldn’t help Alan, so what **good **was he anyway? _

How good of a big brother could he be? If he couldn’t even _protect _his littlest brother? 

Grandma was sitting on his other side, her hand resting on his knee. Grandma seemed to have aged years since he saw her this afternoon-or yesterday’s afternoon that is… 

Grandma has been through so much and still found a way to be strong…he wishes he could be like her right now but…

_He couldn’t…_

Kayo was standing in the corner, watching over them. Her eyes still in battle mode. He doesn’t think she’ll be able to relax until they get some news on Alan…honestly, _none_ of them will fully relax until they hear something about Alan…be that good…

_Or bad…_

“What’s taking them so long?” Gordon asked, breaking the silence that had hung over the room for the past hour or two. 

Scott stopped his pacing, looking at Gordon. “I don’t know, Gordo..” Scott sighed, his arms hanging to his side, “I wish I did, but I don’t..”

Scott looked so…_defeated_, it was wrong! _So wrong!_ He thought, starting to feel that panic rear its ugly head again. 

“Bullet wounds are already really complicated as is, Gordon” John explains softly, his eyes_ sad.._ “add on the fact that the bullet hit his spine, it’s one really complicated procedure..”

_‘Which he may not survive’_ went unsaid, but it was on_ all_ their minds. 

He took a deep breath, trying to control the rising panic that was threatening to overwhelm him. Why couldn’t he control it! He can’t have a panic attack right now! _His family is already worried enough!_

Scott glanced over at him, his eyes filled with concern. Scott’s eye trail down to his hands, with still had _Alan’s blood_ on them…oh gosh! He still had _Alan’s blood_ on his hands! He thought, his eyes widening as he feels his control slipping.

He took another deep breath, this one was shakier than the last, trying to get control…_any control… _

Grandma glanced at him in concern, starting to see through his facade like Scott was starting too.

“Hey, Virg?” Scott said gently, coming to stand in front of him, “Why don’t you go to the bathroom and get cleaned up, okay?” Scott squeezed his shoulder, trying to comfort him. 

“I…” he couldn’t get any words out, the same feeling of shame overwhelming him again. 

How could Scott _stomach_ to be around him? Did Scott not know that this was all _his fault?_ That if he did his job right, Alan would not be on _death’s door?_

Grandma sighed, taking his hand, “come on dear, let’s go get some fresh air..” grandma pulled him to his feet, “it would do us both good to get out of this room..”

“I…” he didn’t know what to say but…he couldn’t _deny_ the offer now that it was offered to him, “oka-“

The door opened at that moment, and the semi peace in the room was shattered with just one sentence, “are you Alan Tracy’s family?”


	5. Chapter 5

**Virgil POV.**

Scott span around like lightning, “yes, that’s us!” Scott said, practically _teleporting_ over to the doctor with how fast he moved. “I’m Scott, I’m Alan’s oldest brother, and legal Guardian” Scott held out his hand out to shake. 

“Dr Scarlet Parker” Dr Parker shook Scott’s hand, she was wearing green doctor’s scrubs with a yellow stethoscope hanging off her neck, “I’m one of the head surgeons that worked on your brother.”

“Is he-I mean, is he okay?” Scott couldn’t bring himself to ask the actual question, the one that was on all their minds. _**‘Is Alan alive?’**_

_Oh, please let him be **alive!**_He thought as that panicky feeling threatened to overwhelm him again, which just made him mad at himself. 

_Honestly, why was he feeling like he was going to shatter at any moment?! Hasn’t he dealt with worse!? But this was his** brother**…his littlest brother, who he **failed** to protect…_

_And maybe lack of sleep was catching up with him, he was exhausted, he’ll admit…but he couldn’t be tired right now! He needs to know if…_

His chest tightened painfully, he took a shaky deep breath trying to calm himself. _This was not the time for you to lose it, Virgil!** Get it together!**_

Dr Parker nodded, a small smile on her face, “yes, your brother is alive-“ relief flooded over them but it was short-lived, “-but it was a close one, we almost lost him in there..”

His heart skipped a beat, they almost lost Alan, and_ they didn’t even know it…_

_Oh God, they almost lost Alan! They…they almost lost…he almost lost his little brother! _ He took another deep breath, feeling his control slipping._ Keep it together.._

He looked at his grandma, whose grip on his hand had tightened. Her eyes were wide with horror and so much pain that he had to look away, unable to see that pain in her eyes.

John had his arms crossed against his chest, looking like he was trying to hug himself and kayo’s eyes were wide in horror, looking unusually vulnerable…

“You almost lost him?!” Gordon asked, his eyes filling up with tears, even though he knew Alan was in fact alive, hearing that they were so close to losing him…

_It hurt just as bad._

Dr Parker sighed, nodding. “Yes, his heart did stop briefly in surgery, but we were able to restart it before any lasting damage was done to his heart..”

_At least that was something…_

Scott took a deep breath before speaking, looking visually shaken by that news. “That’s…that’s really good, when..” Scott paused, taking a deep breath before continuing, “when can we see him?”

“In a little bit, the nurses are just getting him settled into a bed in the _intensive _care unit and then you can see him” Dr Parker explained, her voice soft and gentle, like she was building up to bad news…

John frowned, “intensive care? _Why_ is he in intensive care?” 

He took a deep breath, feeling that overwhelming drowning feeling again…

_Get it together, Virgil! Get it together! Do not lose your head! It probably just a precaution, not that there is anything else wrong, like **Alan’s spine** being-_

He cut that thought off, trying to focus on what Dr Parker was saying, but it was hard, his mind not letting him forget that _the bullet did hit Alan’s spine…_

_ **it did hit Alan’s spine…** _

“There is no easy way to say this..” Dr Parker sighed, her eyes sad..“but the lower part of his spine, the part that controls his legs, his bladder and basically everything just under his waist, was badly damaged by the bullet..”

_Badly damaged_, he thought as he started to lose his control over his breathing. The feeling, the urge to run out of this room and never look back was becoming overwhelming…_**too overwhelming…**_

“Are…are you saying he..he may be paralysed?” Scott asked, his voice shaking slightly, plain terror, fear and _desperation_ in Scott’s voice. _“Please_ tell me you’re not saying that..”

Scott was _pleading _and if that didn’t send him over the edge into a full-blown panic attack, then what the doctor said next sure did…

“It is hard to know at this point in time, there are tests that will need to be done but..” Dr Parker explained gently, “but.. it is very likely that your brother could be _permanently _paralysed-“

_Permanently_ paralysed! Okay, that’s it! He couldn’t take this anymore! He pulled his hand out of Grandma’s and ran from the room, ignoring the yells for him to come back. Ignoring his _brothers _calling his name, ignoring his comm, ignoring _everything…_

He just ran and ran, trying to put more and more distance between him and that room. He ran out of the hospital entrance and gasped for breath, stopping briefly.

_This couldn’t be happening! It just couldn’t!_ He thought as he choked on a sob, bring his hand to his mouth. _**Why Alan!?**_

He tensed up as he heard footsteps, realising that there were _too many people _around right now for him to deal with…_he couldn’t deal with people right now, he **needed to be alone!**_

So he started running again, run away from the hospital.

He faintly heard someone yell his name, but he ignored it, choosing instead to run into an abandoned park, losing whoever was following him in the process.

He collapsed down near a tree, tears now starting to freely flow down his cheeks and a scream tore it way out of his chest.

It was a scream of pure pain…a scream of someone that just wanted everything to be okay, but _everything wasn’t okay!_

Alan was most likely _permanently_ paralysed from the waist down!_** Everything wasn’t okay!**_

“Why!?” He screamed into the cold night air. He hit his fist against the ground, not caring if it hurt or not. “Why Alan?! _**Why not me?!”**_

“Why not me?! Why?!” He sobbed, tears staining his cheeks. He pulled his legs to his chest, burying his head into his knees and just cried._ “Why…” _


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter is maybe a little less tear your heart out…oh who am kidding, this still going to hurt…
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this :)

**Scott pov.**

His eyes widen as Virgil bolts out of the room, looking like he was on the verge of a _nervous breakdown. _“Virgil!”

“Virgil! Come back!” He runs to the door, only to see Virgil run around the corner. He was about to head after him when John grabbed his shoulder, stopping him.

“Let me go after him, you need to stay here and deal with what happening with Alan..” John said, “I’ll find him..”

John didn’t give him time to argue, disappearing down the hallway after Virgil.

He sighed, knowing John was right. _He needs to say here and focus on what’s happening with Alan. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t worried about Virgil. Virgil doesn’t run out like that, it wasn’t **like** him._

_He should have taken Virgil aside the second he got to the hospital and talked with him, see how he was dealing with everything but He didn’t…._

_He didn’t and he regretted it. He was too **worried** about Alan to focus on anything else, which was understandable but he really should have taken a moment to see how Virgil was dealing with everything._

_Heaven knows Virgil been through some shit tonight…or yesterday night, he thought with yawn, it was late…_

_It was so late…_

“Do you need me to send someone out for him?” Dr Parker asked, coming up to him. “I can send out a search party if you want?”

“thank you but no..” he sighed, “I think he just needs a moment to process it all, that all”

Dr Parker nodded, “I understand, it’s a lot to take in..”

He nodded, looking at his other family members. Kayo was trying to get Virgil to answer his comm, with little success. Grandma was comforting Gordon, who had broken down in _tears_ at the news.

He heart ached at the sight, _**why** did this happen to his family? Haven’t they been through **enough**? Alan did not deserve this…_

_Oh Allie_, he thought, feeling his chest hurt painfully as he thought of Alan. _He had almost lost him, he almost lost his **baby** brother…_

_And Alan was now going to suffer for the rest of his life because of this, permanently paralysed…oh **God**, his baby brother could be **permanent** **paralysed**!_

_This couldn’t be happening, this was his worse nightmare! Why Alan? Why his little baby brother!? This was going to **destroy Alan…**_

He turned to face Dr Parker, “is there anything else that I need to know before you can take us to Alan?” He asked, hoping…_oh so hoping that there wasn’t any more **bad** news._

Dr Parker sighed, shaky her head, “not stuff that couldn’t wait until morning, the main thing we’re focusing on at the moment is that he wakes up and is dealing with the surgery okay, the rest will come later..”

He nodded, “okay…”

“Now, I’m sure one of you will want to stay with Alan while he’s here?” Dr Parker asked.

“Yes, I was thinking of staying with him..” _it wasn’t a matter of if or maybe, he was **staying** with his baby brother._

“Okay, Well firstly you’re not _allowed_ to stay in the intensive care unit with Alan unfortunately, but there are rooms for _parents and guardians_ that you could stay in..” Dr Parker explained, “after Alan is out of intensive care, you can just stay with him in his room..”

He nodded, “okay..thank you..”

“We as a Hospital try to make situations like these as stress free as possible” she smiled at him, “now, do you want to wait for your brothers to come back before I take you to Alan or do you want to go now?”

“I want to see Alan!” Gordon said, his voice wet and watery, filled with desperation. “I want to see him…”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, chapter 7!😄 I may have switched my target from Virgil to Scott for the moment but don’t worry, i’ll get back to Virgil soon. 😄😉
> 
> anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this! 😃

**Scott pov.**

They walked down a hallway, Dr Parker leading them to the intensive care ward, Grandma had wrapped her arm around Gordon’s shoulders, _keeping Gordon close to her._

He walked a little bit behind them. Kayo had left to help John find Virgil. Virgil had apparently run all the way out of the hospital and was in town somewhere.

_He was really worried, Virgil had seemed so emotionally distressed that he feared that Virgil may run in front of a car accidentally._

_Honestly, he didn’t need the added worry. He was already going grey worrying about Alan, who he knew wasn’t out of the woods yet. Alan may be alive but there was** so much more to come, so much more to deal with…**_

And it was already _tearing _his heart out, the closer they got to intensive care, the more it hurts. _Because he knew what he was going to see in there but at the same time… he didn’t…_

_He didn’t know how bad of a state Alan was in and he was** terrified **to find out. Alan was his baby brother, **his baby brother! **The child that he was responsible for. The child that was the closest thing he had to a **son**, the child he raised._

_And still is raising, the kid was_ ** fourteen for heaven’s sake! ** _Just a child! A Little kid! A little kid that for all purposes may have been **paralysed from the waist down for the rest of his life! **_ _Paralysed! Permanently!_ ** _Forever!_**

_**No child**_ _deserves to have their whole life to altered because of one petty thug…oh if only he could get his hands on that bastard, he would _**wish**_ that he __never touched a gun in his life!_

They arrived at the entrance to intensive care and he felt his heart seize in his chest. _Alan was in there…he never wanted Alan to be in there, he never wanted Alan to get hurt so badly that he needed to be in there…_

Dr Parker stopped them at the entrance,“I’m sorry but only two people can go in there at the same time..” she explained, “it can be really busy in there and having more than two people visiting a patient at once, makes it hard for the nurses and doctors in there to do their jobs..”

“We understand dear..” grandma nodded, “Scott, Do you and Gordon want to go first?”

His shoulders tensed up, “Um..actually, why don’t you go in with Gordon instead, Grandma?” He asked, trying not to let on how_ plainly scared _he was about going in there.. “is that okay, Gordo?”

Gordon shrugged, looking down at the floor. His heart ached even more, o_h Gordie…you’re not dealing with this well, are you?_

_Are any of them dealing with this well? _His mind flashes to Virgil running out of the room. _No…no they were not…_

“Well, okay Scotty..” Grandma gave him a pointed look, knowing something was going on with him, “come on Gordon…” she nudges Gordon forward gently.

He watched as Dr Parker lead Grandma and Gordon into the ward, disappearing from his sight. He collapsed down on a seat that was outside the ward, putting his head in his hands.

_This was honestly over his head, he could **pretend** all he wants but at the end of the day, **he didn’t know how to deal with this**…_

_It was moments like this that he really, really missed his Dad… Jeff Tracy would know what to do, **Jeff Tracy would not have let this happen in the first place!**_

_Honestly, Dad would be so mad at him. Alan was his** responsibility**, he was Alan’s guardian and he let this happen…_

_ **He let this happen…** _

_Why did he send Virgil and Alan to that gala in the first place?_ _He was the head of Tracy industries, he should have gone but he didn’t…._

_Instead, he had talked his brothers into going by suggesting that they draw straws, whoever two got the short straws had to go…_

_ **And looked at where that got them…** _

Alan was in intensive care with a bullet wound and a_ damaged spine_, and Virgil was having a _nervous breakdown _somewhere in town and _**none of them knew where he was…**_

_Honestly, things were a mess._


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay…what have I done… I may have broken every character in this chapter… honestly get tissues before reading this, you’ll need them…
> 
> okay, anyway I hope you enjoy this :)

**Scott pov.**

Grandma and Gordon came out ten minutes later, both with tear stains on their cheeks. Through Gordon seemed to still be crying…

His chest tightened as he stood up, walking over to them. “Grandma, Gordon…?” He said softly, feeling like he was walking on _eggshells…_

“Scott, take your brother…” Grandma said, her voice _barely audible _as she nudged Gordon towards him, before turning and disappearing down the hallway in a hurry, _faints sobs_ coming from her…

_Now that scared him like shit… it felt like the world had flipped or something, seeing his Grandma, who was honestly a pillar of strength, so…**so destroyed….**_

He turned to look at Gordon, who was staring at the floor, tears streamed down his face. His chest hurt painfully at the sight. _Oh, Gordo…_

He bent down slightly, trying to look Gordon in the eye. “Gordie? You’re okay?” He asked, keeping his voice soft and gentle as he gently touched Gordon’s arm. 

“No!” Gordon shook his head, and then Gordon was clinging to him, arms tightly wrapped around his waist. “It’s not okay! It’s not fair!”

He sucked a shaky breath in, wrapping his arms around Gordon. “I…I know guppy, I know…” his voice shook, sounding wet and watery._ It was so hard not to start crying himself, but he had to stay strong… _

_ **For his brothers…** _

“Come on, why don’t we sit down…” he guided Gordon over to the chairs, sitting down with Gordon next to him. 

“It’s not fair…” Gordon looked up at him, brown eyes that were usually _so full of laughter, were filled with despair_, “Why Alan?! Why does this stuff happen to us?!”

He sighed heavily, closing his eyes briefly before looking at Gordon, hugging him tightly. “I don’t know why this is happening, but you’re right, it’s not fair…” he looked at the intensive care entrance, “It’s really isn’t fair…”

Gordon sniffled, rubbing his nose with his hand. “This is going to _destroy_ Alan…” Gordon muttered softly, “you should have seen him, I…I never seen him so…so fragile-looking..” 

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop the _flood of tears_ that were threatening to fall at the mental image, his imagination making it worse than it probably was…_but how does he know how bad it was without seeing Alan?_

_How does he know how bad of a state Alan was in without seeing him? He needs to see Alan,** he had to see his baby brother.**_

_He didn’t care how much it may hurt, he had to see Alan for himself,_ he thought taking a shaky deep breath, trying to get some control over his emotions._** But he had to make sure that Gordon was okay first…**_

“it was horrible, it was just horrible Scotty..” Gordon sniffled, sounding so emotionally_ drained_ and tired… “I…I just…I don’t know how to deal with this…I just-“

“Shhh, I know…I know..” he whispered, hiding his face in Gordon’s hair for a second, _those tears were getting harder and harder to hold back_.. “we’re all tired and just…” he sighed, his heart honestly feeling_ too heavy,_ “it is a lot to deal with and we don’t know how to deal with it yet…”

_Honestly, they really didn’t know how to deal with it…._

Gordon sniffled, pulling away from him. “You need to see him, you need to see Allie Scotty..” Gordon wipes his eyes, “I’ll…I’ll stay here, you…you need to see him..”

He sighed, looking down at the floor, “I know Gordo, but I’m not leaving until I’m sure you’re okay” he looked at Gordon, his eyes filled with concern, “I don’t feel comfortable leaving you out here alone if you’re not okay..”

Gordon sniffled, taking a deep breath before looking up at him, “I’m fine now, scott..” Gordon gave him a half baked smiled, _it looked pretty flimsy honestly.. _“really, just go…”

He frowned before dropping his shoulders in defeat, a stress headache coming on from all the worrying he has been doing in the last four to five hours… 

“okay..” he said with a sigh as he stood up, “okay, I’m going…”

**— — — —**

A nurse led him through the loud and chaotic area that was the intensive care unit. Doctors and nurses were moving about the place in a hurry, alarms were going off nearly constantly and loud beeping from the life machines…

_Add the fact that he was already nervous **(terrified) **about what kind of state he may find Alan in, this was all really overwhelming…_

The nurse stopped at a curtained off area, and he felt that nervousness (Terror) skyrocket. _Alan was beyond that curtain, mostly likely still unconscious and probably hooked up to heaps of machines…_

“forewarning,_ prepare yourself_ ..” the nurse said softly, her eyes kind, “it may be a shocking sight..” the nurse pushed the curtain back and held it open for him. 

He took a hesitant step into the small cubicle, making his way up to Alan’s bedside. He sucked in a shaky breath as he laid eyes on Alan, feeling his control start to shatter apart…

Alan had been taken out of the clothes that he was originally in and in their place was a loose blue hospital gown. He could see a little bit of the bandages that were wrapped around Alan’s middle.

And his mind flashed back to the image of Alan laying on the floor_, **a hole** in his abdomen that was **seeping blood at record speed** as Virgil tried so hard to get it to **stop bleeding…**_

Alan’s neck was held in a different neck brace then the one he had put on him, this one was way bigger. _It made Alan seem so small and…and **breakable**…_

There…there were so many tubes and wires connected to Alan, _he didn’t know where to look…. Some wires connected_ to a heart monitor and some other wires that he didn’t have a clue what they connected to,_ there were so many…_

Alan had a feeding tube inserted into his nose and breathing tube in his mouth, as well as an IV inserted into his arm. There was also a tube that came out from Alan’s gown that connected with a bag at the end of the bed, which he quickly realised with horror was a urinary catheter._ His baby brother needed a urinary catheter!_

Alan’s legs were covered in white elastic stockings,_ which he guesses were there to stop blood clots from forming… _

He could see what Gordon meant…_Alan did look so fragile.. like a gentle wind could shatter him.. oh his little pup,_ he thought as he brought his hand to his mouth, trying to stop the sob that wanted out. 

“Can…can I have a…a moment alone with him?” He choked, barely able to get the request out. His breathing was becoming harder to control, his eyes starting fill with tears, control slipping…

The nurse nodded, quickly leaving and closing the curtain behind her. Once she was gone, all his control and composure came crunching down.

“He-hey Allie..” he choked as he touched Alan’s cheek gently with the back of his hand. “It’s me, Sc-Scotty..” 

Tears that had been threatening to fall all night were running down his cheeks, and he didn’t care one bit. “Oh baby..” he sobbed, gasping for breath. “Oh my little baby, why does this have to happen to you?” 

His chest was hurting beyond belief, _it felt like his heart was going to burst from his chest._ He leaned his forehead against Alan’s forehead, “please wake up…please be okay..” he cried, a tear dropping on to Alan’s cheek. 

There was no reaction from Alan, _not even a twitch…_

He pulled away and collapsed into the chair next to Alan’s bed, his body trembling, sobs coming non-stop…_Were they ever going to stop? _

He looked up at Alan, so lifeless and still, so…so unlike Alan and he felt himself shatter even more. Sobs were tearing their way out of him and leaving him shaking and trembling. “Oh, Allie! Oh, Allie..”

_He was supposed to protect Alan! Keep Alan safe and…and he failed! **He failed!**_

“I’m sorry…” he sobbed, tears streaming down his cheeks, his body trembling so badly now that sitting up straight was becoming impossible. “I’m so sorry..” he folded in on himself, holding his head in his hands as sobs tore him apart.

“Oh, baby, _I’m so sorry.._”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, chapter 9! I’m getting back to Virgil now 😁 I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

**John pov.**

He’ll remember that moment when he got Virgil’s emergency signal for the rest of his life. The painful realisation that something was wrong,_ really wrong_ as he tried and tried to get Virgil or Alan to answer their comms, only to get no answer in return.

The agonising five-hour wait as they waited to know Alan’s faith, to know if they were going to lose another loved one… the heart-stopping news that Alan almost died…

_No actually not almost…he did die, his heart stopped. They restarted it but…it still did stop… for all they know**, Alan may never wake up…**_

_And the **last** conversation he had with Alan was him **scolding** Alan for not taking the mission seriously! The last thing he could have ever said to Alan could be ‘this isn’t a game! You need to take this seriously, or you may as well not be out here!’_

_And now…oh God, why did he say that?! At the time, it didn’t seem so bad, he was just trying to get Alan to take stuff seriously…_

_But now? If Alan ever wakes up, he could…he could be Paralysed! Paralysed! Never to run or jump or do that thing he calls dancing…**he’ll never do it again…**_

_And to make matters worse…if Alan did wake up, he was sure the kid was going to blame him…or be mad at him at least, he had said ‘you may as well not be out here!’ After all and now the kid may never get out there again…_

_Sure, He didn’t actually mean it! And …and Alan knew that…right? Alan was one of their best pilots! And Alan was awesome in the field, the kid was one of their best…_

_Oh, things were a mess,_ he thought as he stopped under a streetlight, rubbing his eyes, trying to ignore the headache that was starting to really bug him.

_He had bigger worries than a headache! Virgil was** missing**! And in obvious emotional distress too and they couldn’t find him!_

_He would have just tracked Virgil with the tracker that was in Virgil’s comm but…but it wasn’t working properly, which they need to fix as soon as possible because this…this was **bad…**_

_They needed…he needed to know where his brothers were, he needed to be able to find them! What if…what if something had happened? If something happened to Virgil, he didn’t know if they were going to **survive **it…_

_Not with what had just happened to Alan,_ he thought as he started walking again, keeping an eye out for Virgil, hoping that Virgil was around here and…and that he was okay…

** _Oh, he better be okay…_ **

His comm buzzed, and he answered it with a flick of his fingers, “Kayo, have you found anything?” He asked, seeing Kayo’s little hologram on his wrist console. 

Kayo had joined him half an hour ago, they had decided to split up to search more ground, hoping that one of them would find Virgil…they had been searching for Virgil nearly a whole hour._..And that was horrifying…._

Kayo shook her head with a frown, “Sorry, John, but I haven’t found him yet…” Kayo sounded and looked really frustrated. “I honestly don’t think he’s in this part of town…”

He sighed, crossing the road, “Okay, head back to the hospital and see how the others are doing…” he walked into a park, “ I just got one more place to look, and if I don’t find him, we’ll call the police..”

_Which he really didn’t want to do, because it would mean accepting that something really** bad **could have happened to Virgil…which he didn’t want to do…_

“FAB..” Kayo nodded, her face serious. “I’ll see you back at the hospital…hopefully with Virgil…”

“Yeah…” he sighed, turning his phone torch on as the light from the streetlights disbelief. “Yeah, hopefully with Virgil..” 

Kayo ended the called, and with that he started searching and calling his brother’s name, _hoping…oh so hoping that he’ll get a reply._

“Virgil! Are you here?!” He called as he looked around, his phone torch lighting up the area a bit. He was about to call it quit when his torchlight passed over a figure sitting near a tree.

His eyes widen as he refocused the light on the figure. “Virgil!”_ No one had those broad shoulders other than Virgil! But…but something was** wrong..**.Virgil wasn’t responding… _

_Virgil’s eyes were **closed.**_


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this! 😁😄

**John pov**

“Virgil!”

He ran towards the slumped over figure, dropping to his knees._ Virgil’s eyes were definitely closed but…but he didn’t seem to be injured…just…just asleep…_

He checked Virgil’s pulse anyway, finding that it was steady and strong but…_Virgil’s skin was freezing! _He bit his lip, that wasn’t good, _he needs to wake Virgil up and get him somewhere warm…_

“Virgil…” he shook Virgil’s shoulder gently, getting a slight reaction from Virgil but other than that, Virgil didn’t wake up… “Virgil come on…wake up!” He shook harder…

Virgil groaned, his eyes blinking open, “J-John? Wha…“ Virgil yawned, moving into a more comfortable sitting position, looking around with his eyes half opened, not fully awake. “What’s going on? Where ar-Alan!” Virgil launches forward with a start, his eyes wide with panic. “Where’s-wha-“

“Woah! Calm down, Virgil!” He wrapped his arms around Virgil, stopping him from jumping up in his panic. “Alan is…he’s in good hands, now please calm down…” 

Virgil was shaking in his arms, breathing deeply as he stared at the ground. He was about to say something when Virgil spoke, “he’s…he’s…he’s going to be…be p-paralysed…” Virgil gasped, tears starting to flow down his cheeks in floods “f-forever…w-why? Why couldn’t have been…wh-why Allie?”

He tightened his hold on Virgil, pulling him closer. “We…we don’t know for sure yet if he’s paralysed-“_ though the odds were against them and they all knew it.. _“we…we won’t know for sure until…until he wakes up..” 

_If he did wake up…_

Virgil shivered, reminding him of how freezing cold his brother was.._.he really needs to get his brother somewhere warm, **now!**_“It-it s-should h-have be-“ 

“Shhh, no…none of that..” he said firmly, channelling his inner Scott “we need to get you somewhere warm Virgil, you’re freezing..” he rubbed Virgil’s arms, trying to warm him up, “you know how bad that is…”

Virgil nodded, his teeth chattering. “I..I know..I..”

“Shh, come on, up we get…” he stood up, helping Virgil to his feet. Virgil stubbled, losing his balance and would have_ fallen over _had he not been there to catch him. 

“You’re okay?” He asked softly, supporting Virgil in his arms. Virgil’s eyes were wide, and his breathing was laboured, and with what he could see in the limited light, _Virgil’s skin was really pale…_

“F-Fine..” Virgil nodded, pulling away from him and wrapping his arms around himself, shivering like _crazy._

He frowned,_ He needs to get Virgil warmed up! His brother was freezing out in this cold! At least he had a jacket, Virgil just had a thin dress shirt and trousers! Wait a second,** he had a jacket!**_

He quickly pulled his jacket off, making Virgil look at him in confusion, “J-John, what are y-you d-“ he draped the jacket over Virgil’s shoulders, which caused Virgil’s eyes to widen in surprise.

“My shoulders are a lot slimmer than yours, so it’s not going to fit properly, but it’s better than nothing..” he said as he made sure the jacket wasn’t going to fall off, “you’re warmer?”

Virgil nodded, “a-a b-bit..but..but what a-about you?” Virgil asked, his teeth chattering as he spoke, “y-you’re g-gonna get c-cold..”

“I’ll be fine…” he shrugged, warping an arm around Virgil and started to lead him out of the park. “Anyway, it’s a part of being a big brother, little brothers get the jackets..” he smiled, trying to cheer Virgil up a bit…

_And maybe get both their minds off what had happened in the last five to six hours…_

Virgil chuckled weakly, “I-I thought I w-was the big b-brother?”

“Yeah but I’m older..” He grinned, enjoying his and Virgil’s little inside joke..“Come on, I think I saw a pub that was still open near here, it should be nice and warm in there..”

“O-okay..” Virgil nodded, leaning into him for warmth as they walked “I’m…I’m c-cold..”

“I know…” he tightened his hold on Virgil, bring him closer, trying to give him all the warmth he could… “I’ll get you somewhere warm, don’t worry…”

“I kn-know…i just…” Virgil muttered, his eyes starting to drop close. “I’m…I’m so…so tired..” Virgil yawned, getting more and more groggy. 

“I know…i know..” he sighed, his concern overflowing. “We’re almost to the pub, you can rest and warm up there…” he said as he guided Virgil forward, his arm wrapped around Virgil to keep him from lagging behind. “Then we can go back to the hospital, okay?”

Virgil tensed up, “I… I don’t want to…i don’t want to go back there…” Virgil muttered softly, his eyes filling with tears. “I..i.can’t..i-”

“Shhh, we’ll talk once you’re not on the verge of freezing to death..” he said firmly as he guided Virgil up a flight of stairs and into the pub, _which was thankfully still opened!_

“Hello! Anyone here?” he called, seeing no one in the pub but someone had to be here. _The fireplace was still burning…_

Someone came out from the back, “I’m sorry, but we’re closing-”

“My brother is freezing! He’s going to die if he doesn’t warm up!” he begged, all his worry coming up at once “Please, I’ll pay for any inconveniences, just let us stay until he’s warmed up…”

The Pub owner looked at Virgil and then at him, “okay…you can stay..” the owner sighed, and he felt relief wash over him, “come, sit him near the fire while I go outback and get a blanket..”

“Thank you…” he said as he guided Virgil over to the fireplace, sitting him down on the couch. Virgil’s eyes were barely open, and Virgil had stopped shivering, _which wasn’t a good sign….not at all. _

“Hey Virg..” he said softly, kneeling down in front of Virgil, shaking Virgil’s shoulder gently, making Virgil open his eyes with a groan..“I know you’re tired, but you can’t go to sleep, okay?” 

“But…but I’m tired…” Virgil’s bottom lip trembled, “i… I just want to forget this day ever happened..”

His chest tightened, “I do too, Virgie..” he squeezed Virgil’s hand,_ trying to comfort him but physical affection wasn’t his strongest talent, he wasn’t really one for physical contact, but for his brothers,** he’ll do anything… **_

_Whatever they needed him to be, he’ll be it. Even if that meant getting out of his **comfort zone**…_


	11. Chapter 11

**John pov. **

He was sitting next to Virgil, who was leaning into his side with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. The pub owner was over at the bar cleaning up, not paying them any real attention except the occasional glance.

_He would have preferred to deal with this situation in private but making sure Virgil warmed up was the most important thing at the moment, and Virgil had warmed up a lot. _ _But not enough to leave the warmth of the pub…_

_So they were going to have that difficult conversation in pubic, and there was nothing he could do about it. But he and Virgil really did need to talk,_ he thought looking at Virgil who was watching the fire with a blank look, sniffling every so often…

_Virgil wasn’t okay, and he meant both physically and emotionally. His brother was in a terrible state, half-frozen and suffering a breakdown… _

”Virg…” 

Virgil looked over at him, his eyes wet and red, his skin pale. _It hurt to see his brother like this… _

“We need to talk…” he said softly, looking at Virgil with a caring look. “we need to talk about what happened Virgie..” 

Virgil sighed heavily, looking down at his lap “I k-know…” Virgil took a shaky deep breath, “I…I sh-shouldn’t have run, I shouldn’t have worried you guys any-anymore than…than yo-” Virgil choked on his words, a small sob escaping him. 

_Oh, Virgil…_

“-I shouldn’t have worried you guys but…” tears were now running down Virgil’s cheeks ”But I… I just couldn’t tak…Allie, he’s-“ Virgil put his hand to his mouth, trying to stop the sobs that were now coming nonstop. “He’s…he’s-“

“Shhh, it’s alright, it’s alright..” he gently pulled Virgil into a side hug which Virgil accepted, burying his face into his shoulder, sobbing. “We don’t blame you for running Virgie..” he rubbed his brother’s back gently, trying not to wince as Virgil tightened his hold. “You have been through so much in the last couple of hours, it’s okay if you are struggling to deal with it all…”

Virgil sobbed, his body trembling as he clung to him. 

He sighed, his eyes starting to feel damp “we’re all struggling right now, you’re not alone Virgie..” he said weakly, his voice shaking slightly. _They all were struggling to deal with this…_

_he was struggling to deal with this_, he thought, closing his eyes for a second, taking a calming deep breath as he felt his control over his emotions waver… 

“I… I know..” Virgil pulled away from him with a sniffle, his eyes were bloodshot and wet as he looked at him. “But It should have been me, I…” Virgil rubbed his nose with the palm of his hand. 

_He couldn’t believe what he was hearing…_

“I…I should have been the one shot..not-” Virgil sobbed weakly, his head hanging low “-not Allie, never…never Allie…”

“Are you hearing yourself right now?” He asked, his voice coming out harsher than he intended. Virgil’s head snapped up to look at him, his eyes wide and wet. 

_One of his brothers was in intensive care, and the other was wishing it was him? Honestly, that made him a bit…not mad per se but sort of ticked off maybe… unhappy for sure…_

_He wasn’t going to let one of his brothers think like that, no way in hell… not happening…_

“I know you feel like this is your fault, but it’s not.” He said firmly, looking at Virgil head-on “It is nobody’s fault except the man that caused all this, no one else’s…” 

Virgil blinked, watching him in startled silence. 

His eyes softened, “Wishing that it could have gone differently, that it could have been you, doesn’t change anything Virgil, you know this..” he said gently, laying his hand on Virgil’s shoulder, giving it a gentle and comforting squeeze.

_The next thing he was going to say, he really didn’t want to say, but it needed to be said. Virgil needed to hear it…_

“How do you think Alan would have handled you getting shot?” He asked, his voice catching at the end, sounding choked. 

Virgil gasped, jumping away from him like he been electrocuted. Virgil’s eyes were wide and starting to overflow with tears as what he had just said sunk in..

“do you think he would want you wishing that it was you instead?” he asked gently, looking at his brother in sadness “Do you Virg?” 

“I…” Virgil blinked, a tear spilling down his cheek. “I..no..” Virgil shook his head, looking down at his lap as he scrubbed his face, trying to stop the tears. “he wouldn’t..he wouldn’t want me to be…to be wishing that..” Virgil took a shaky breath before looking up at him, “but it’s so hard not to John, I..I feel like I failed him..”

“You didn’t…” 

Virgil sighed dismissively, shaking his head with a sniffle “John, I was t-trusted with his safety, and I let him get h-“ 

“No, listen to me Virgil..” he said firmly, “You didn’t fail Alan, he’s alive because of you…” a choked laugh escaped him as the meaning of his words hit him. “He’s alive, Virgil!” he smiled, gripping his brother’s arm. “Because you would not give up on him, you kept him alive Virgil..”

Virgil looked at him, the clouds from his eyes starting to clear, but there was still that lingering doubt and self-blame in them that refused to disappear…

“He’s Alive and that all that really matters right now…” he said softly, smiling at Virgil. “We’ll deal with the rest later, right now let’s just be happy that he’s alive..” he gave his brother’s arm a squeeze, “and that because of you, Virg…”

“i…” Virgil sniffled, the corners of his mouth twitching up into a small sort of smile. It was really shaky and seemed like it could fall at a moments notice, but it was better than nothing. “I…I guess you’re right. I just wish I could have done mor-” 

“um, sorry to break this up but…” the pub owner rubbed their neck awkwardly “but I’m going home now, so I have to ask you to leave..” 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I don’t know why but I seem to be very good at whumping those boys 😅 anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! 😄

**Scott pov.**

_Was it possible to feel even more like a failure than he did now?_ He thought as he looked at Alan, who hasn’t moved or even twitched in the time he has been in the room._ He didn’t think there was a way for him to feel any more like a failure than he did right now…_

_His baby brother looked so…so fragile, so broken_, he sobbed softly, covering his mouth with his hand. _Why Allie? Why his baby brother?_

He watched the heart monitor, watched as it went up and down in a steady rhythm, each beep an anchor to him, stopping him from going over the edge in his grief. _His baby brother’s heart was beating, and for the moment, that was the only thing keeping him going…_

His comm beeped, drawing his attention away from Alan. John’s call symbol was flashing up at him…

_He didn’t want to answer it… he wanted to stay here and not talk to anybody for a while…_

But his sense of duty overrides his hurting heart, and he answers the comm, tears stains left on his cheeks, his eyes red with sorrow. “Yes? What is it?” He asked, barely trying to conceal the fact that he had been crying…

_Why bother? What was the point anyway?_

John’s eyes flashed with concern the second he laid eyes on him, seeing the obvious tear stains on his cheeks. “You’re okay?”

He sighed, rubbing his eyes with his hand, “Yeah, yeah…I will be..”_ he didn’t really want to talk about it. _“Why’d you call? Did-“

His eyes widen as he suddenly remembers that Virgil was somewhere in town who knows where…. _Shit! How could he have forgotten about that?!_

“Did you find Virgil?!” He asked, his back going as stiff as a board as worry and concern ran through his veins like electricity. “Is he okay?! Is he-“

“Woah, Scott! Calm down..” John said, holding his hands up. “Yes, I found him, he’s right next to me, see…” John shifted the comm slightly, a small hologram of Virgil appearing next to John’s hologram.

Virgil had his face away from the camera, his shoulders hunched forward, trying to look smaller. He felt knots form in his stomach, “Virg?” He asked softly, concerned beyond belief.

Virgil gave him a quick glance before shying away from the Comm’s camera, refusing to look at him._ All his alarm bells were going off now…_

John sighed, moving his comm back, so it only showed him. “We’re on our way to the hospital now, just waiting for a cab…”

He raised an eyebrow,_ why were they waiting for a cab? John’s location wasn’t far from the hospital, so why…_

_Was one of them injured?! Oh please, no, they didn’t need anything else to happen to another family member…_

“Scott, don’t worry..” John said, seeing his growing concern. “I’ll explain everything when we get to the hospital, okay?”

He frowned,_ he didn’t like not knowing something… especially something important._“You better, John..” he said firmly as he stood up, “I’ll meet you outside the intensive care unit, okay?”

He heard a faint voice on John’s end say something, something he couldn’t make out but it sounded like ‘no’ and a panicked one at that…

John looked over to his left in concern before glancing back at him “FAB Scott, we’ll be there soon, I got to go…”

“Wait! What’s-“ John hanged up before he could finish….

_Well if he wasn’t worried out of his mind before, he was now,_ he thought with a worried and slightly stressed sigh, running his hand through his hair. _He just had to hope John got everything under control…_

He turned to look at Alan, his stomach sinking as he laid eyes on his baby brother. _This was one of the worst sights he has ever seen, and he has seen some gruesome things in his line of work, but nothing will hurt as bad as seeing his baby brother in a hospital bed, motionless…_

He reached out, gently brushing Alan’s fringe back. _They had no clue how Alan was going to react to the surgery or if Alan was even going to wake up. What if everything was too much for Alan to handle and he never wakes up again?_

He took a deep breath, banishing that thought. _Alan was going to wake up…he had to…_

“I’ll be back soon, baby…” he whispered as he kissed Alan’s forehead, being extremely gentle “I gotta make sure your brothers are okay…I..” he choked, the words getting stuck in his throat, his eyes dampening again.. “please wake up for me, baby…”

Alan didn’t even twitch…

He leaned his forehead against Alan’s with a heavy sigh, closing his eyes as he tried to keep the tears at bay… “I…I love you, Allie..” a tear slipped out, landing on Alan’s cheek “so much..”

He straightened and rubbed his eyes with a sniffle, taking one last look at Alan before he turned, leaving the room…


	13. Chapter 13

**Virgil POV. **

**A couple of minutes earlier…**

_He wasn’t sure about this,_ he thought as he stood stiffly next to John as they waited for their cab that would take back to the hospital. _How could he face his family after he ran away like that? He was supposed to be the strong one, the one his family could turn to for support…and what did he do?_

_He ran away when they needed him the most… _He thought with a shiver as a gust of cold wind blew passed. _How could he face them? He didn’t know if he could…._

His anxiety was starting to get the better of him, every second that they waited for their cab, it got worse and worse…_he didn’t know if he could do this…_

_Could he do this? Could he face them after what he has done?_ He thought as his breathing started to pick up speed, his hands shaking not just from the cold. _Oh gosh! He couldn’t do thi-_

“Virgil, you’re okay?” John asked in concern, touching his arm, making him jump in surprise. “Are you getting cold again?”

“I…no-I mean yes, I mean….” He shook his head, trying to get his brain to work with his mouth. “I’m fine J-John…” he said, shaking John’s hand off his arm, crossing his arms across his chest.

“Virgil…”

“I’m fine, John!” He snapped unintentionally, glaring at his brother. “Just leave it…” he turned away, rubbing his face with his hand. _He was so tired, he just wants to go to sleep and forget this day ever happened…_

“Okay, I’m leaving it…” John said softly, sounding exhausted. Guilt was starting to fester in his gut, _he shouldn’t have snapped at John like that_, he thought looking over his shoulder at John, who was fiddling around with his comm watch…

“I’m going to call Scott, okay?” John said with a sigh, bring up Scott’s call symbol. _Oh gosh! Scott! He forgot about Scott! How could he face Scott after he ran off like that?!_

_Scott trusted him to protect Alan, and he failed, then to make matters worse, he ran away when his family needed him the most… Scott must be pissed at him! Or the very least not pleased with him…_

“Can you keep an eye out for the cab, please?” John asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“I…Yeah, sure…” he nodded stiffly, avoiding looking at John directly, still feeling guilty.._.How could he have snapped at John like that? What was wrong with him? John was only trying to help him…_

_Why was he acting like this? Why couldn’t he deal with this?_ He thought, rubbing his eyes which were sore from crying and from being awake so long._ He needed some sleep, he really did…_

_Maybe then this would be easier to deal with? But his brothers were dealing with this so much better than he was and they haven’t had much sleep either,_ he thought as he watched John wait for Scott to pick up._ Why couldn’t he deal with it the same?_

Just when it seemed like Scott wasn’t going to answer, _which was unusual and worrying in itself…_Scott’s avatar pops up on John’s comm watch.

He took a step back in shock, shaken to his core at Scott’s appearance. Scott looked like he been through hell, tear stains adorning his cheeks. Guilt washed over him…

_He should have been there for Scott, for his best friend,_ he thought as he turned his head away, unable to look any longer at his brother’s tear-stained face._ He should have been there…_

_He should have been there for all of them…_

“Did you find Virgil!?” He tensed up as he heard Scott say his name, the worry in Scott’s voice, making him feel worse. “Is he okay?! Is he-“

“Woah, Scott! Calm down..” John said in a calming tone, holding his hands up “Yes, I found him, he’s right next to me, see…” John moved his comm watch, bringing him into the frame.

_Which was the one thing he didn’t want!_ He thought as his eyes widen, his shoulders hunching forward in an attempt to hide. _He couldn’t face Scott…not yet. He felt too ashamed, he couldn’t do it…_

“Virg?…” Scott’s voice washed over him, full of concern. His eyes filled with tears, Scott sounded so concerned and worried for him,_ he didn’t deserve it…_

He couldn’t stop himself from glancing over at Scott, their eyes meeting for a second before he turned away. Unable to take the concern and worry he found in Scott’s eyes…

_They shouldn’t be worrying over him, why was he making his family worry!?_ He thought angrily at himself, staring down at his feet. _Why was he doing this to his family? Didn’t they already have enough things to worry about? Why was he adding to it? What was wrong with him?_

He must have zoned out because the next thing he heard was, “…I’ll meet you outside the intensive care unit, okay?”

_Intensive care…Alan, oh God no, he wasn’t ready for this! _He thought as his eyes widen, fear and panic starting to overwhelm him. “No!” He exclaimed loudly, shaking his head repeatedly, taking a step away from John…

John glanced over at him, eyes wide with concern before quickly looking back at Scott, “FAB Scott, we’ll be there soon, I got to go…” John hanged up, turning all his attention to him. “Virg, what’s the matter?” John asked gently, taking a small step towards him.

“John, I…” He took a shaky deep breath, trying to slow his breathing which was only getting faster and more out of control “I’m not ready to see- I..” His voice cracked, starting to sound wet and watery, tears were gathering in his eyes. “I… I’m s-scared..”

“oh, Virg…” John took another step forward, his eyes overflowing with care, love and sadness for him. “it’s okay, it’s okay _little brother_…” John wrapped his arms around him in an embrace, pulling him close “I got you…” 

And just like that, the tears started flowing, and the sobs began to flood out of him, “I’m… I’m so t-terrified! Of…Of what…Of what i… I could find-i-” he sobbed, hiding his face into John’s shoulder. “and…and how can I… I face any of the oth-others-i..i..i-” 

“Shhh, it’s okay, it’s going to be okay…” John comforted, rubbing his back, “I know you’re scared, I… I am too…” John sighed softly, “we’re all scared, but we’re going to get through this and…” John’s arms tightened around him, “and the others only want to see that you’re okay, Virgie…”

He nodded meekly, pulling away from John with a sniffle. _He was feeling a bit better after getting all that out_, but his chest was still hurting, his breathing was still very fast..

“come on, you need to breathe Virgil..” John said gently, resting his hand on his forearm, rubbing it up and down in a calming motion. “Come on, copy me…”

John took a deep breath in and slowly let it out, which he tried his best to copy, but it ended up being really shaky instead…

But John didn’t seem to care if it was shaky or not, “that’s it, good job…” John said, giving him a pleased smile “come on, another one Virgie..”

It went on like that for a couple minutes, John and him just taking deep breaths, one after the other. 

By the time the cab got there, his deep breaths were almost the same as John’s calm deep breathes. _He was feeling a lot calmer than he was, but that didn’t mean fear didn’t grip him at the sight of the cab. _

_At least the cab was one of those self-driving ones, so he didn’t have to deal with a stranger when his emotions were so out of whack…_

But still, he was hesitant to get in because…_because getting in would mean that he would have to face his fear and believe him, he was all about facing your fear but…but he was still scared…_

“Come on, it’s okay Virgil…” John took his hand, guiding him into the cab, “it’s going to be okay…” John closed the door and put his seatbelt on, giving him an encouraging smile.

He nodded, taking a deep breath as he put his own seatbelt on. The car started moving, pulling into the four o’clock traffic. He looked out the window, chewing on his bottom lip as he fidgeted with his hands…

The hospital came into view, and his fear raised its ugly head. _Could he do this? he wasn’t really sure, maybe he couldn’t-_

John took hold of his hands, giving him another encouraging smile. “you can do this…” 

He nodded, closing his eyes and took a deep breath, mustering all his courage while holding on to John’s hand like a lifeline. _He could do this…_

_He could do this…_


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got chapter fourteen done, I really hope you guys enjoy this! 😄

**Kayo pov**

She was about halfway back to the hospital when she got a text from John, telling her that he found Virgil in an abandoned park. _It was a relief to know Virgil was found and they didn’t need to get the police involved to find him._

She trusted that John had everything under control with Virgil and if he didn’t, she was sure he would call, but until then, she was going to focus her attention onto the rest of her grieving family. _None of them were okay, herself included…_

_Sure, Alan could be a brat at times, but what little brothers ain’t? She cared for him, she loved him, _she thought as she made her way into the hospital, heading down to where the others were. _He was her little brother in all but blood, her littlest brother and she hated to see him hurt like this…_

Security would have to be _doubled_, this could not happen again. She would not allow it to! Her family has been hurt, and no one hurts her family _without getting hurt even worse by her…_

This event has shown her a _big flaw _in their security, and she was going to fix it.

International rescue needed to be more careful with the boys’ identities, they couldn’t hide who ran international rescue, it was a bit late for that, _unfortunately…_

But they needed to be more careful with their identities, that was a _must_, she thought as she turned a corner, spotting her family sitting outside the intensive care ward. Grandma had Gordon leaning against her in a sort of one-armed hug, the blond looking dead-tired. She couldn’t help but notice Grandma’s cheeks were sightly stained with tears…

Scott looked up at her, his blue eyes looking just as tired and bloodshot as the rest of his family. “Kayo…” There was a desperate tone to Scott’s voice, a silence plead for…for comfort.

That set off all sorts of alarm bells in her head…

“Scott…” She took the seat next to Scott, wrapping her arm around her big brother in an embrace. Scott slump against her in exhaustion, his head collapsing against her shoulder. It said so much about how emotionally drained and tired Scott was…

“John found Virgil, they should be on their way to the hospital now…”

“I know…” Scott sighed tiredly, rubbing at his eyes. “John called me to tell me they were on their way…”

She glanced over at the intensive care unit and felt that burning anger again, her little brother was in there because…because of some punk that wanted _revenge _on international rescue…

Alan was targeted because he was associated with international rescue. It was horrible to think about, but if that man didn’t know Alan was a part or connected with international rescue, Alan might have gotten away with minor injuries or none…

It was a sobering thought to think about…

**———**

**Virgil POV**

John had said it would be a good idea to get cleaned up a bit before seeing the others, so here he was. In a hospital bathroom, trying to get the blood off his hands while John waited outside, letting him have a moment to himself.

He looked into the bathroom mirror and…and the man that stared back at him was nearly unrecognisable. His skin was as pale as a ghost, deep purple bags from lack of sleep under his eyes. His eyes were slightly red from crying, his normally perfectly styled black hair was a mess and his hands…

His hands were covered in dried blood that refused to come off.._.His little brother’s blood…_

His knees buckled, and if he didn’t grab the sink, he would be on the hard tiled floor right now. He was so tired and…_oh gosh, his hands were covered in his little brother’s blood!_ His hands tightened around the sink as he closed his eyes tightly, his breathing becoming laboured.

“Get it together Virgil, you need to _calm down_…” He whispered softly to himself, hyper-aware that his hands were starting to shake, and his breathing was speeding up…

He knew that he really should calm down, he knew he wasn’t doing himself _any good_ but…

But it was _Allie’s _blood; he thought as his stomach turned against him and suddenly his head was over the toilet, hurling his guts up with a vengeance…

He didn’t hear the bathroom door open or the softly-spoken_ ‘oh Virgil…’_ from John as he came to his side, kneeling on the bathroom floor next to him. He was too busy emptying his guts into the toilet to notice those things…

But he did notice the hand that started rubbing his back gently, “Easy Virg… it’s alright, just let it come…” John’s voice flooded his senses, a calming presence to his scatterbrained mind.

He pulled away from the toilet with a weak groan, his stomach was now completely empty of any food or liquid that he had previously eaten. John was still rubbing his back, his eyes filled with so much sympathy and love.

_A part of him still felt he didn’t deserve it…_

“You’re okay?”

The answer was no, he really wasn’t, and John could see that plain as day as well but….but they needed to get this over with, he couldn’t put off seeing his family any longer…

“I’m… I’m getting there…” 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally got chapter 15 done! XD I hope you guys enjoy!

**Virgil POV**

It was silent as he and John walked toward the ICU, the hospital deserted of people. It was barely passed four in the morning, no one was awake at this time of the morning. _He normally wasn’t..._

He been rehearsing over and over again in his head what he was going to say to his family once he sees them; and each time, their reactions to him were different. He had no clue how they were going to react. 

_Would they be mad at him? That he ran when he should had stayed strong?_ the reasonable part of his mind said _no, of course they wouldn’t be mad at you! But that would mean that they were instead worried about him._

And that was almost worst then them being mad at him. His family had enough to worry about as is and he had just added more unnecessarily worry to the fire.

_Because of course they would be worried about him. He would be worried if he was in their shoes..._

His family came into view, each sitting on those really uncomfortable hospital waiting chairs. They looked exhausted and he was sure if he looked in a mirror, he would see the same exhaustion starring right back at him. 

It was almost similar to the kind of exhaustion they got from back to back rescues but..._But normal rescues didn’t leave them as gutted to the core as they felt right now..._

Scott was the first to stand up, his eyes narrowing in on him in an intense blue stare. He felt cold sweat drip down his back, his nervous feelings intensifying. _Scott had to be mad at him, there was no other explanation for that look..._

Before he could say or do anything, Scott was striving towards him. 

He braced for impact, expecting a punch or something when suddenly he found himself in a tight embrace, big brother holding him tightly. A blink and he was hugging back just as tightly, burying his face into the base of Scott’s neck as tears gathered in his eyes. 

“I’m sorry…” he sniffled, his voice choked with emotions, feeling like a little kid again who had fallen off his bike and needed his big brother to make everything better. 

_Scott always knew how to make things better..._

“Shhhh...don’t be…” His big brother ran his hand up and down his back, the soothing motion calming him, making him relax. “You have nothing to apologize for Virg…” 

“But…” He pulled away slightly so he was able to see Scott’s face, which was stained with the same tears that were dripping down his cheeks, which he quickly wiped away. “But I shouldn’t hav-” 

“No, you listen to your brother, Virgil…” Grandma cut in sternly, coming up to them with Gordon in toe. “I don’t want to hear any self-blame, from any of you boys…” Grandma pointedly looked at Scott, causing Scott to avert his eyes.

“Yes, Grandma…” They both instinctively said, knowing better than to argue with the family’s matriarch. _It was a fight not worth winning, not that they could win it in the first place..._

“Good...” Grandma nodded, her sternness giving way to their loving and caring grandmother as she pulled him in a warm motherly hug. “I’m glad you’re okay, sweetheart…”

He sighed softly, letting the tension flood out of him as he leaned into his Grandma’s arms. “Sorry..” he whispered softly. 

“Now, I said none of that..” Grandma sighed as she stepped back, looking at him with a bittersweet, tender look as she caressed his cheek, “oh Virgil dear, you know I’m always here for you, right?”

“I know Grandma...” he leaned into her touch, closing his eyes. “I know..”

Someone cleared their throat loudly, “Sorry to break up this moment but someone is feeling slightly left out…” Gordon muttered nonchalantly, tapping his foot impatiently as he avoided eye contact with them. 

He raised an eyebrow in disbelief at his brother, his tired brain seeming to implode as it tried to figure out what Gordon was saying..._Did Gordon want a hug? Wait what?! Gordon asking for a hug??!_

_W-what was going on- _

_What??! _

“You mean you feel left out…” Kayo teased with a slight smirk as she came up behind Gordon, causing Gordon to startle slightly. “Do you want a huggy wuggy too?”

John snickered as Gordon went beet red...

“What! No! I-Ahh Kayo!” Gordon glared at their sister with a very obvious pout on his face. Scott was trying to hide the fact that he was laughing, hand over his mouth. “not funny…” 

He chuckled softly as his tired brain finally caught up to what was going on._ And honestly, he needed this little bit of lighthearted humour right now._

“Aww come here, squid…” He grinned as he pulled a reluctant Gordon into a bear hug, “Don’t want you feeling left out, now do we?” 

Gordon’s sound of outrage was legendary...

As was the colour of his face, who knew the human face could go that red? He chuckled with a small smile as Gordon wiggled his way out of the hug, his face red as can be. 

The lighthearted moment was broken, once again by someone clearing their throat. “I’m sorry to intrude but I got to ask you to leave..” a snobbish looking male doctor asked, looking at them like they were bubblegum on his shoe.

Grandma took a hold of his hand as he turned around to look at the man in shock. _What did he just say?_

“What?” Scott frowned as he took a step towards the doctor, standing his full six feet, four inches; towering over the smaller man. “What do you mean leave?” 

The guy rolled his eyes, ignorant to Scott’s very obvious IR uniform and increasing outrage. “What else does it mean? It means get the fuck-” 

Kayo fist clenched and Scott took another step forward.

“-out of here before I get s-“

“Jim! They’re okay! They’re with me!” Doctor Parker called out, running over to them before disaster could strike, _a.k.a Scott’s fist. _“They have a family member recently admitted to the ICU, they’re allowed to be down here..”

Jim looked disgruntled at Dr Parker, “But-”

“Dr Smith, don’t embarrass the hospital more than you already have..” Dr Parker spoke in a low, cold tone, giving her colleague a hard stare, “Now, I believe you have other places you have to be?” 

Jim scowled at Dr Parker before he walked off in a huff. 

“I’m so dreadfully sorry about that…” Dr Parker apologized to them, her face showing deep regret, “Dr Smith can be…difficult at times..” she grimaced, fidgeting with her hands “I’m again dreadfully sorry you had to deal with that...little misunderstanding..” 

“There’s nothing to worry about dear…” Grandma took a step forward, lightly touching Scott’s forearm, “there’s no harm done, isn’t there Scott?” 

Scott grunted with a nod, his arms crossed across his chest as he lightly glared in the direction that Dr Smith had walked off in. The whole little incident had definitely _soured_ Scott’s mood.

“My brothers and sister haven’t seen Alan yet…” Scott spoke firmly, nodding over to him and John; his voice almost commander-ish in nature. “Are they able to see him now?”

Dr Parker looked over at him, a look of recognition coming to her eyes. “Of course..” She nodded with a kind smile, before getting serious “but I will have to ask for you to make it short, this is still a ICU after all..”

Scott nodded, his shoulders relaxing slightly, “We understand, doctor…”

“I advise, once you all have seen Alan, to go and get some rest..” Dr Parker asked as she led them over to the entrance to the ICU, signalling a nurse over. “The hospital will notify you if anything happens, I don’t want to see one of you in here because you collapsed from exhaustion…”

“Don’t worry doc, i’ll make sure those boys take care of themselves..” Grandma answered softly, nudging him and John forward as the nurse that was to take them to Alan came over, “go on boys, your brother waiting..” 

For nearly the hundredth time in the last couple of hours, his mind froze with fear. _Was he ready to see Allie? Could he handle it? He wasn’t sure, maybe he couldn’t-_

John laid his hand on his shoulder and squeezed in encouragement, making eye contact with him and before he knew it, he was standing in front of the curtain that separated Alan from the rest of the ICU. 

John pulled the curtain back and walked in, he followed close behind and the sight before him had the dried up tears flowing again.

“Oh, Allie…”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 16 is here! Woohoo! XD Thanks Gumnut for letting me use her OC Jack in this *big hugs*

**Virgil pov**

He rolled over in bed, staring blankly out at the city skyline; the sun having risen long ago. Three days have passed since that dreadful night, and Alan still hasn't woken up. 

_Their baby brother had fallen in to a coma. _

The doctors had started to suspect that Alan could have suffered undetected brain damage, ordering brain scans to be performed. And as it became clear that Alan wasn’t going to wake up any time soon, the hospital had moved him to a more secure, more permanent room in the ICU.

Where they could visit him freely and without restrictions on how many of them could see him at a time. Kayo had also doubled their security immensely in the last couple of days, doing background checks on all of the hospital staff. 

And it was no surprise to any of them that Dr Jim Smith was on the list of ‘don’t come ten feet near Alan or you die’ list. Kayo had been very insistent on that. As well as background checks, Kayo had also _(somehow?!)_ compiled a team of vetted and trained security guards for them. 

There were three guards standing watch outside their hotel room right now, along with two more guarding Alan’s hospital room. Plus Kayo, who insisted on protecting Alan personally and not even hell freezing over would change her mind. 

And in a sense, Kayo was also guarding Scott, who had barely left Alan’s side; only leaving to eat, sleep and take bathroom breaks. _Even Grandma couldn’t get him to leave on the threat of home cooking…_

Which wasn’t a threat that you take lightly, she would actually follow up on it but even that time old trick has lost its magic in the last few days. Their world was falling apart, and a little bit of burnt food didn’t scare them like it used to. 

The hospital was encouraging them to talk to Alan like he was awake and could hear them, that hearing their voices could help him regain consciousness. 

But he couldn’t even step foot in the hospital after seeing Alan laid out on that hospital bed; Neck in a brace, unable to breathe on his own, almost lifeless in his stillness. 

He had stumbled out of the ICU and into Scott’s arms, sobbing his heart out on his big brother’s shoulder. Repeating over and over again that he was to blame, that it was all his fault!

Scott had pushed him away slightly, his hands placed firmly on his shoulders with an almost furious look in his eyes. “It is not your fault, Virgil!” His brother had snapped, blue eyes ablaze with emotions. 

“There nothing-” Scott’s voice cracked, wavering slightly, “-you could have done, so please stop this…” 

He had been so startled by...well the fact that Scott had been pleading with him, begging him to stop blaming himself, that he had just nodded mindlessly. He was just so tired at that point, that he just wasn’t going to fight Scott on it.

That first night, he was in such a state of distress that the only way he was even able to fall asleep was because Grandma had chosen to sit by his bedside until he fell asleep; effectively comforting him enough that he was able to finally fall into a much needed deep sleep.

He was a complete wreck of his normal self. All while falling asleep that first night, all he could think about was how much of a failure he was. And he still was thinking that, because he couldn’t even muster up the will to get out of bed. 

It was like his mind and body had just shut down completely. Before he was feeling too many emotions; now, he was struggling to feel anything. _He couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t eat…_

Every time he closed his eyes, he would see his baby brother bleeding out on that gala floor or on that hospital bed, so still, so lifeless…

And with every day that passed with no sign of Alan waking, his nightmares got worse and worse. _He knew John and Gordon had noticed, how could they possibly not have? They were sleeping just a bed or two across from him._

_He hated that he was worrying his brothers, because why else would they be here with him when they could be at Alan’s bedside instead? _He thought with a sigh, looking over at his brothers, who were sitting on the bed across from him. 

John was sitting in the corner of the bed, legs crossed as he furiously typed away at his tablet. All while ignoring Gordon, who was spread lengthways across the bed, half-heartedly strolling through his phone. 

The room was filled with an anxious boredom as they waited for Grandma or Scott to call them with some form of news on the results of Alan’s brain scans. 

But the nearly endless wait was driving them stir-crazy…

_When will they hear some news? And would they like what they may hear? If he was being honest, he was dreading that phone call. Because what if the results came back positive? _

_Hasn’t Alan suffered enough? _

“Honestly!?” Gordon yelled, causing him to jump and look over at his brother, who was glaring at his phone. “you would think they would have better things to report on then our family!” 

“Unfortunately” John lowered his tablet with a weary sigh. “Anything happening to our family is front-page news to those people..”

Gordon scowled, throwing his phone down on the bed; missing John by a thin margin. “Well, I don’t care if it's front-page news or whatever, why can’t they just say out of it?!” 

Gordon’s face crumbled slightly as he moved into a sitting portion, hugging his knees. “His face is plastered all over the interwebs John…” Gordon whispered, his voice losing its anger and in its place was an immense sadness. 

“Along with those grainy photos of Virg-” Gordon frozen, suddenly realising that he was, in fact, awake and looking right at him “Um, I mean-” 

He sighed deeply, forcing himself to sit up, “You mean those cellphone photos of me desperately trying to keep Alan from bleeding to death?” He answered almost emotionlessly as he rubbed at his face tiredly. “I have seen them already, Gords..”

_He couldn’t even turn the TV on or go on his phone without getting blasted with reminders of what happened. And even then the news networks would be blasting it from the tallest skyscrapers. _

_It was like it was haunting him everywhere he went... _

He frowned slightly, moving so he was sitting on the edge of the bed. He could feel John’s eyes on him, scrutinising him like he was a complex math problem John was trying to figure out._ He didn’t like it..._

“Um...yeah, those photos…” Gordon mumbled, rubbing his arm nervously, his eyes flickering between looking at him and not looking at him; Gordon’s reddish-brown eyes filled with barely masked concern. 

_Everybody has been giving him that look lately…_

Gordon looked over at John, “Can’t you or Jack do anything about it? Like maybe get them taken down?” Jack was their lawyer and a pretty good one at that. 

John sighed again, shaking his head. “Jack is already flat out busy with making sure the people responsible for all of this get life in prison..” John explained, his frustration and fury at the people responsible for hurting their little brother clear in his voice. “Doesn’t help that the GDF is being difficult…”

“Difficult?” He wondered softly; his curiosity peaked, “how so? I thought It would be clear and easy?” 

_They attempted to kill Allie; the GDF should easily see that they deserved to get life in prison? _

John’s eyes flashed to him again with that same masked concern in them as Gordon’s eyes had. “You would think so, but the higher-ups of GDF are thinking of treating this as an attempted robbery gone wrong, rather than attempted manslaughter because, well-” John hesitated, avoiding their eyes. 

“Because?” Gordon questioned. 

John sighed wearily, looking up at them with a deadly serious expression, “-Because apparently to them there isn’t enough proof to prove that Alan getting shot was intentional...” 

His eyes widened in horror.

_What?!_

“What?!” Gordon exclaimed, jumping up from the bed in outrage “Not enough proof?! Alan is in a coma and paralysed because of that asshole!” Angry tears had gathered in Gordon’s eyes. “Maybe even brain-damaged! How is there not enough proof?!” 

He stood up and walked over to the window, pinching the bridge of his nose to try and keep some kind of control over himself;_ what happened to not feeling anything?_

_Deep breaths Virgil, deep breaths... _

“What about all of the witnesses?” he questioned, facing away from his brothers as he glared out the window. “Everybody saw it, you…” his voice shook “you couldn’t miss it if you tried..” 

Alan’s terrified eyes, a flash and a loud bang. Allie on the floor, blood everywhere; baby brother crying in pain. That man laughing...

He gripped the windowsill tightly, glaring out at the skyline, “Everybody knew why, it wasn’t an accident, it wasn’t a stray bullet…” He took a shaky deep breath, feeling his eyes fill with moisture, “He looked right at me and said _‘International rescue couldn’t save my sister from being paralysed, so now I’ll return the favour!’_” 

He turned to face his brothers, both their faces bleached pale; Gordon’s more than John’s. This was the first time he has spoken in detail about what transpired that night to his brothers. “There's no way that wasn’t intentional..”

“They’re going to get what they deserve Virg, Jack and Lady Penelope are confident of that…” John spoke, his voice taking on a gentler tone, the tone he uses when he’s talking to distressed and panicked rescuees. 

He hated the fact that John felt the need to use that voice on them, on him...

“It may not seem like it but…” John’s shoulders dropped, his brother’s eyes filled with exhaustion. “But it only has been three days since that night; court cases take time...” 

“Feels way longer than just three days…” Gordon muttered softly, scuffing the sole of his shoe into the carpet. “Especially with Allie not..” Gordon dropped back down on the bed next to John, wrapping his arms around himself tightly, “you know, waking up..” 

Every single one of big brother instincts was screaming at him to go and comfort his brother, but he hesitated, and in that time, John had beat him to it.

“I know Gordy...” John sighed sadly, pulling Gordon in a loose one-armed hug; their little brother collapsing like a rag doll against John's chest with a little sniffle. 

His already broken heart seemed to break even more at the sight of their mischievous and fun-loving little brother looking so down; so drained of happiness and hope. 

Sometimes he forgot that Alan wasn’t just Gordon’s little brother but his best friend as well. _How didn’t he noticed that he wasn’t the only one that wasn’t dealing well with Alan's injury?_

The self-hatred he was feeling towards himself seemed to double at that thought. 

“They’re not going to get away with this Virgil; I promise you that..” John promised, aqua blue eyes looking right at him, voice leaving no room for argument. “Jack, Colonel Casey, Penny and I are going to make sure of that..”

“I know…” He sighed, running his hand through his ungelled hair, turning to look out the window again; just being able to make out the hospital in the distance. “I’m going to have to testify, ain’t I?” 

“If you’re willing and that is what you want to do, of course, you can..” John explained with an odd, almost worried tone to his voice. “but Scott, Grandma and I were talking, and we think it’s a better idea if you don’t..” 

“What?” He turned around in astoundment. Even Gordon looked confused, looking up at John with a raised eyebrow. “What do you mean, don’t testify?” His fist clenched slightly as anger started bubbling in his stomach. “If I don’t, they’ll get away-I..”

He bit his bottom lip, glancing out the window as anxiety flooded him again at the thought of those people being able to walk free. “I…I have to testify, or else they’re...they’re..”

“Virgil..” John’s voice cut through his panic, sounding incredibly sad as well as concerned. “With how many witnesses there were, you don’t necessarily have to testify for there to be enough proof to prove them guilty..” 

“But…” He glanced back at his brothers, and the first thing that hits him is just how concerned they looked, both of them; even Gordon. _They weren't even trying to hide it from him anymore. _

His fists clenched as he turned his face away from his brothers. _They did think he was broken, didn’t they? Why else would they be acting like this? _

“We just don’t want to push you too far by forcing you to relive that night, Virg” John explained gently, “you have been through a lot these last couple of days after all..” 

_Understatement of the year, _he thought with a scoff. 

John continued, “and we don’t want to see you get hurt any more than you have been..” 

His eyebrows furrowed, the anger starting to bubble in his stomach again. _He wasn’t the one that was hurt, what was John going on about?! Alan was the one that was hurt! _

_Not him!_ He thought as he gripped the window sill tightly, his eyes squeezed shut as he tried to push his anger down._ He didn’t understand why he was getting so angry at his brothers; they were worried about him because they cared._

_But maybe he wasn’t really angry at them but more at himself? Because deep down, he didn’t feel like he deserved their worry; he was the one that had let their baby brother get shot after all. They should hate him..._

_Like he hated himself..._

“That’s why we think testifying in front of all those people, including the guys responsible for this, isn’t such a good idea..” John explained, his voice filled with brotherly concern; which just seemed infuriated him more. “Especially when you don’t necessarily have too..”

Things went silent for a moment; like his brothers were waiting for him to say something, but he wasn’t in the mood to talk, he didn’t trust himself not to start shouting if he did. 

John sighed, sounding slightly disheartened “Scott wanted to be the one to talk to you about this, he thought you’ll probably take it better from him than anyone else..”

He rolled his eyes, looking out at the skyline. O_f course, Scott would want to be the one to talk to him. That was typical Scott, always wanting to be the one to shoulder the burden. _

_But that meant that even Scott, his best friend, though he was..was broken? _He realised with a shaky gasp, a feeling of betrayal missing into the anger he was feeling. Sure John had mentioned Scott being a part of this before, but the meaning of it all was only just hitting him now...

“I’m not made of glass…” He whispered tensely as he turned to face his brothers, anger seasoning his voice like a strong chili, hot and burning. “So will you please stop acting like it?!” 

His voice had raised to a shout, like he feared it would; but right now, he didn’t care. John’s eyes hardened a touch, but they were still filled with that same concern that filled him with rage. 

Gordon flinched, brown eyes wide with startled fear and concern, “Virg, John was only saying-”

“I know what he was saying, Gordon!” He snapped at Gordon and instantly regretted it as Gordon’s eyes filled with hurt. “Gordon I-”

“Forget it..” Gordon muttered as he got up from his position on the bed, “I’m going to take a bath; closest thing I'm going to get to a swimming pool for a while..” 

The shared bathroom door slammed shut. 

“We're just trying to look out for you, Virgil..” 

Just as fast as his anger appeared, it disappeared just as fast; maybe even quicker, leaving him feeling empty and hollow once again. He turned to look at John, feeling horribly lost. 

“I..i know, I just-” Suddenly being stuck in a room with the people he had just yelled at, was too much for him to take. “I’m going for a walk, call me when you hear news…” 

Then he ran, only stopping long enough to put his boots on and grab his phone before he was out the door; not looking back. 

_He was getting really good at running away it seemed..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, hoped you enjoyed this chapter XD What was your favourite part of the chapter? I would love to hear your opinions XD


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